There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
