either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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