i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
