we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
