Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
