What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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