i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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