How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
