did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
