that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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