You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
