I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
