I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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