By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Randomize
