when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
