What a fucking waste of an outfit
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
