i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
