how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
