Banned from zoo.
Again?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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