I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize