I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
