Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
