She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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