Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
