she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
