U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just had sex bonerless
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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