Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
