I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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