don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
