I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
