Apparently you make a good broom.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize