It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
