I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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