With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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