he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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