I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
