i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
