idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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