Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
