I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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