Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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