we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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