My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
