first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
