What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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