got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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