If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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