And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I supernannyed him into submission
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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