paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
