I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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