I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize