After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Randomize
