I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize