but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
