the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
