he wants to bone in the snuggie
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
