you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
