She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
