My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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