go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
