She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize